the crime report

scene: doctors office parking lot at 10:50 am (ten minutes early to apt thankyouverymuch)

i hung up the phone with the husband, who was a few minutes behind us, and went around to her side of the car. opened the door. locked the car. put the key in the diaper bag. set the diaper bag down next to her car seat. began to give baby tylenol. (silently patting myself on the back for being both early and a good mommy that remembered to give the tylenol before the shots.) old lady walks out to get in her car. i say i just need a minute. continue giving tylenol. old lady sits. f.o.r.e.v.e.r. so i think she needs me to close the door which of course is the universal sign for "go ahead pull out, i am not moving." so i do.

shut the door.

pause.

sailor words escape my mouth.

instantly realizing what i have just done.

i just stood there. complete panic over took my body. i had no idea what to do.

thankfully another mom, a good one with her baby actually in her arms, walks by.


me: uhm hi, are you going into the dr.x's office.

her: yes

me: yeah uhm i just locked my baby in my car and i don't know what to do. but can you just talk me through this so i don't cry.

her: yes. do you have a cell phone.

me: in the car.

her: ok hang on.


she goes into the doctors office and another lady returns with a cell phone. the first thing she tells me is to not panic and that this happens all the time. (totally a mom right?) we discuss calling a locksmith - of course neither of us have a phone number so she goes back inside. she returns with the phone book and a nurse. who is laughing at me. in a good way and thank goodness because then my almost tears just turn into laughter as well. not like "oh this is so funny" laughing. but "oh my goodness sailor words please don't escape my mouth" kind of laughing.

the phone call is made to the local fire department and this lovely lady continues talking to me while i make faces at beans through the window. who by the way is totally and completely fine the whole time. she smiles. i wave. i blow kisses. i beg her to forgive me.

then daddy shows up.

now lets just take a moment and discuss what would have happened if roles were reversed. if i would have shown up and he would have locked her in the car...hello crazy mommy!! i would have yelled. sailor words would have escaped my mouth. how could you be so silly? it would not have been pretty.

but of course he comes right over after i explain the situation and i get hugs and giggles and don't cry baby, it's ok. and my heart melts again because i am so lucky to have such a great hubby. a sane hubby. a hubby who knows exactly the right things to do and say. always.

next thing you know a single cop car pulls in. he approaches the car and before you know it a firetruck pulls in. i am d.y.i.n.g. a police officer and three fireman to rescue my baby! there is much laughing and me apologizing for being such an awful mom. there are references to me and britney. more laughing. then the fire chief arrives on scene.

are you counting?

one big ole fire truck + one police car + one fire chief car + five guys + one awful mommy + one confused baby + one great husband

one of the fireman takes down my information. (hello six o'clock news) the other two pop the lock and beans is out before you know it. safe and sound. (literally this all happened in less than five minutes) many thanks are given. can i go get you donuts i ask? what can i do. oh nothing mam this happens all the time. once a day he tells me they go on a call like this. he also reassures me that i am not like britney but they will be passing on my information to srs. i panic again. he laughs.

then the perfect husband once again amazes and wow's me....a true husband of a blogging mama.

he takes a picture.

one for the scrapbook the fireman jokes.

but the husband knows the truth - it's sooo going on the blog.

so there it is, the crime report in full (way to wordy & long, minus all the sailor language) detail. i understand if you now must stop visiting my blog.